so much to tell

Boy, oh boy! Have I got news for you all!

1 beginners rash

It’s Culture-Fest Time in Japanese high schools. Classes and clubs are wrapping up summer projects, preparing classroom displays, and selling tickets for various student-made food goods [i.e. snow-cones, pancakes, grilled chicken-on-a-stick, green tea, brownies, curry rice…]. This year, food-based and paper-based projects are big at my school [paper airplane distance contest—which I intend to win, newspaper hot-air balloon, paper lanterns…].

I keep getting hit up by students wanting to me to buy their over-priced and under-sized goodies. They know that I can’t tell them “no” when, bless their hearts, they sputter out some English-based sales pitch.

My senior girls have put a band together and will perform a number or two. They’ve unfortunately decided to name themselves “Beginners Rash.” I don’t know what inspired them.

Meanwhile, I’ve been slaving away devising methods in which to make pumpkin-less Jack-o-Lanterns, as I [and my mother] were lucky enough to be roped into the International Club’s project on Halloween [my least favorite holiday…FYI my favorite is Thanksgiving]. Recently, I made a very respectable J-o-L from paper mache and a beach ball.

I ended today’s day at the office by carving away at the biggest pumpkins I have ever have the pleasure of knowing. Carving pumpkins has always been an autumn highlight for me, but I was unable to share my enthusiasm with the finicky club members. I’ve never seen more disinterest in other cultures exhibited by any other kids in my school, than the disinterest exhibited by the International Club members. I like to think that there is actually interest present, but the poor kids’ personalities are such that they just can’t let it out.

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2 hurricanes, tsunami waves, and earthquakes

Speaking of rashes, we’ve had quite a rash of environmental phenomenon recently.

Because I’m so far inland, I don’t really have to fear the hurricanes too much [we’re currently experiencing #18 at the moment…18!] I just get to enjoy the stormy nights in my comfy—albeit lonely—apartment.

Last night was a real treat for me because in addition to rain, I got to enjoy two small earthquakes. Does life get any better than this?

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3 judo

Last Thursday was my first night back at judo practice in 2 months [reasons being thus: pulled quadricep, trip abroad, 1 mo. in an intensive language course].

I was in rare form.

So rare in fact that I managed to do a spectacular face-plant [no, that’s not an actual judo move] into the tatami mat.

I am pleased to announce that my headaches went away yesterday night.

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4 letter to the dying

Ye gads, the word from pop is that it’s been received.

And while I’ve got your attention, I’d like to thank all of you—with the exception of a certain Mr. President—for touching my life even in the smallest way [i.e. reading this, planting flowers near your house, saying ‘konnichiwa’ to me, a lowly foreigner…].

xox,

+L

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5 donations please

It’s become unmistakably apparent to me that the presence of The Site of Reversible Destiny warrants the need for The Site of Foreseeable Future.

[I can't believe that the creators of the Site of Reversible Destiny over-looked the need for the SoFF. By building SoRD, they sort of skipped over a step in the natural sequence of destiny inquiry. I think that given the opportunity, any person would choose to see their destiny first, weigh it's merits, and then decide whether or not to reverse it.]

Mark my words, I am going to design and build The Site of Foreseeable Future.

But, I need your support first [money].

And before that, I need to form a foundation.

And before that, I need to think of a good name for my foundation.

Any suggestions?

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6 god bless-goddamn my antibodies

There is no doubt in my mind that my hearty upbringing and my parents’ genetic fortitude have resulted in the healthy individual that I am today. I am very rarely ever sick, and I have my antibodies to thank for it.

According to research however, I also have my antibodies to thank [or more accurately ‘resent’] for my seemingly perpetual residence in single-dom.

You see, it’s been shown that we are naturally attracted to individuals who posses the antibodies which we do not.

I believe that this leaves particularly healthy folks like myself [folks who evidently possess enough antibodies to get by without the help of others] totally SOL.

After all, it couldn’t possibly be my charming personality—or the fact that I live in a country which has a population that is an average age of 50—that the keeps the men-folk at bay.

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