decisions decisions

Recently I�ve been quite creatively stimulated, but with a lack of time to expel the creative energy. It�s stressing me.

This weekend is my ultimate frisbee team�s regional tournament. It will determine whether or not we get to play in the national tournament. It starts on Saturday and is three days long[Monday is a national holiday]. Each morning and evening for the next 3 days I will commute for 3 hours each way to and from the playing field. I will spend most of my time standing on the sidelines, as I play with a men�s team and must admit that I am both shorter and slower than most of them. When I do play, I will most likely feel as though I�m a hindrance to my team.

Right now I have three needs in my life: a need for human contact, a need for physical exertion, and a need to create.

Both the option of going to the frisbee tournament and the option of staying at home satisfy all three needs to varying degrees.

Both options have highly unpredictable outcomes.

I know that this weekend is just one weekend in a whole lifetime�s worth of weekends, but I am feeling a lot of pressure to �make this one count.�

I have a dream of being an artist. A successful artist.

[Note: your definition of success may vary from mine.]

At 23, I know that I have surpassed the age limit to qualify as a �prodigy� when I finally do reach success. And while they may not be considered prodigies, there are plenty of people my age and younger who have reached great levels of success already. I feel a considerable pressure to catch up with these people and keep pace with them. Using this weekend for creative endeavors could allow me to gain some ground.

At 23, I also know that I am young, vibrant, and relatively attractive. I should play sports and meet people while I am still free and things are still easy. While I know that age is largely a mental construct that can be controlled, I also know very well that the physical body is subject to inevitable wear and tear. I want to do as much as I can while I can.

What should I do?

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